Becky, UGG Boots and Pussy Cat Hats

THIS!

writesomeshit

While many are celebrating the Women’s March On Washington that happened January 21 2017, I sat on my couch staring at the TV feeling more irritated than inspired. I watched crowds of thousands, overjoyed that finally the message of racism, sexism, homophobia, and any other ism was finally being spread to the masses. The rally cry of, “Our rights are under attack”, was the theme of the day. I wondered as I turned off the TV, ‘where had these women been’? And then this picture came across my social media feed and it summed up everything that I was feeling. A Black woman stood with a sign that shouted the truth, that indeed the majority of White women voted for Trump, as three White women stood behind her, on their phones, taking selfies, as if they were asleep at the wheel. There it was. Everything that I was feeling. A…

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Becky, UGG Boots and Pussy Cat Hats

Things Humans Do That Make Politics (at least in America) Suck

I love America. I love our freedoms. I love our political parties. I love having political debates. But, like humans do with all things, we took a good thing and we ruined it. Having differences and opinions is awesome, until…

Humans don’t research before they open their mouths.

Wanna learn about this BRAND NEW wonderful tool that was just discovered? It’s called Google. It’s a website you can use to search and research things that you don’t know about so you can learn about them before you decide to discuss them! It’s so cool. I wish more people knew about it so they could use it more often.

Seriously though, what on God’s green earth makes people think it is okay to argue with someone about topics they have no knowledge about? In the end, it’s really just embarrassing.

Googling things about politics is particularly important when you decide to vote so you know who you’re voting for. Speaking of voting…

Humans don’t take voting seriously.

Okay, so I know we are a part of a political party for a reason, because we agree with the strong majority of things that our particular party favors. But what if you agree with a candidate from another party more than all of the people running from your party? It happens. Recall point one: DO YOUR RESEARCH. Vote for the candidate you agree with the most, not just one that is a member of your party. Also, if you are going into a poll not knowing anything about any candidate, and you plan on just voting for who is the cutest… don’t. Just do not. Ever. Leave the booth. But if you don’t plan on doing that, VOTE. Don’t sit at home and be lazy on election day. You have no right to get angry with the results of an election if you are too lazy to vote. Take voting seriously, it is a privilege that some people will never be able to experience.

Humans attack others for their beliefs.

I don’t understand why people like to call others names or tell them that they are less of a person because of the way that they believe politically. Why are we so reluctant to just accept the fact that other people believe differently than us? Why do we hate people that we don’t understand? Of course, the world would be a much easier place to live in if we all thought the same way, but it wouldn’t be half as fun. Next time you’re about to call someone a vulgar name just because they don’t have the same views as you on gun control, think about what you’re about to say. No need to hurt someone’s feelings because you’re insecure about your own beliefs.

Humans care too much about politician’s personal lives.

One thing I hate to hear is that Bill Clinton was a bad president because he was an adulterer. He surely could have been a bad president, but I doubt it was because he got caught having an affair. The fact that he was sleeping around doesn’t have much to do with his abilities to be a good president. Don’t get me wrong, I am in NO WAY trying to justify his actions. He was 100% in the wrong. It would be lovely if we could have a president that is not only a great leader, but also a completely moral person. Sadly, that probably won’t happen, as power tends to get to people’s heads. People make mistakes. Would someone be a bad accountant because they cheated on their spouse? No, the two things have nothing to do with each other. What makes the president any different, other than the fact that they are in the public eye?  Martin Luther King Jr. cheated on his wife too, does that mean he didn’t largely benefit the civil rights movement? Of course not. But we, as humans, are nosy and like to find any kind of mistake a person has made and hold it over their heads. As much as it sucks that people make horrible, nasty mistakes, it happens, and we should stop disregarding all the good things someone has done because of something bad they have done. This applies not only to politics, but any kind of person who is largely in the media.

And last, but not certainly not least…

Humans have no empathy.

As humans, we are so quick to judge people on their race, religion, sexual orientation, background, etc. that we don’t even think “what if I was in their shoes?” For example, with the Syrian refugees, so many of us said “no way” to letting them come and have a place to live. I understand that it is potentially dangerous, as most things are, but did any of us really stop and think “what if I was them? What if every day I had to wake up and pray that my house would not turn into nuclear war zone? What if every day I had to wonder if my kids were going to be kidnapped by ISIS, or if their school was going to invaded and blown to bits?” When it comes to anything that involves people who are different than you, do you ever imagine how you would feel in their situation? I think many of us with big hearts would think a lot differently if we did. But, as Americans, we don’t have to worry about a lot of things because of how great our military is and how powerful we are as a country. We are selfish. It’s great that we can be, but a lot of people don’t get to be. The next time you are about to do or say anything or form any sort of opinion, make sure to practice empathy. It seems to be a lost art.

These are just a few examples of things that humans do that make politics suck. Trust me, I am sure there are a million more where that came from.The ones I have shared are just a few of those that I have noticed are recurring lately. So, ladies and gents, let’s think before we act, and let’s not take this wonderful and free country we live in for granted. We have so many rights, opportunities, and privileges that millions will never get to touch. Don’t take advantage of that.

Have a wonderful day.

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The 5 Reasons Why I Haven’t Dated Anyone in High School

So, it’s my senior year now. Only a few more months until graduation, and so far, I have gone all four years without a boyfriend. Some people find this odd for some reason. They say, “Why not date in high school? That’s the best time to experiment in relationships!” But I have to disagree with that statement, and here is why:

1. High school boys are much less mature than I am
Sorry, but it’s true. Boys mature much more slowly than girls, and a lot of boys are only out there for one thing that I’m just not gonna give them.

2. I still don’t know who I am
I am only seventeen, there are a lot of things I have yet to discover about myself. I don’t know if I would be a clingy significant other, if I would be jealous, or what aspects of a relationship I would like and dislike. I also don’t know what things I would be willing to compromise, which is essential in a long term relationship. And maybe being in a relationship would help me to figure those things out, but I’m still not sure if I’m ready for that yet.

3. I am too busy
I feel like I am constantly running myself to death and I barely have time to get a nap in anymore, let alone give my undivided attention to another person.

4. I am emotional
I think that most people are in relationships for fun or for show, but I want a real emotional connection with somebody. Sometimes, though, I am the one to gain an emotional connection too quickly, only to find out that they don’t feel the same, and have my heartbroken, which I am trying to avoid if at all possible.

5. I refuse to settle
Don’t get me wrong, of course I would love to be in a relationship, I think it could be fun and a great experience for me. But so far the only boys that have shown interest in me were just not the right fit, and I refuse to lower my standards for anybody. Especially just so I can say that I have a boyfriend and brag about it on social media. I want a real, mature relationship that I am secure in. One that I don’t have to post about constantly to prove to everyone that he loves me. One that makes me grow as a person, and hopefully makes him grow as well. One that is fun but is also meaningful. I want someone who will inspire me to be better and to follow my dreams, and will help me to see the things about me that I didn’t even know about. But, until I find that, I will remain single… And you know what? I am okay with that. Boyfriends can make you happy, but ultimately you have to be the one to make yourself happy when you’re on your own at the end of the day. Don’t get me started on that, though, that’s an entirely different blog post waiting to happen… 😉

The 5 Reasons Why I Haven’t Dated Anyone in High School

The Importance of Self Esteem in Relationships

I seem to cover the topic of self esteem frequently, but that is because the importance of it cannot be stressed enough. Your self esteem does not just affect you, it also effects the people around you. And more importantly, it affects the way they treat you.

I learn about relationships by watching them. I am a people watcher. And one thing I’ve noticed is that people with higher self esteems have easier times in relationships. Now, I am not saying at all that you must have a high self esteem in order to have a successful relationship. But I have come to see that people who are aware of how much they are worth tend to put a stop to their partner trying to walk all over them.

You can argue it if you want, but in the end it’s true, people who abuse their partners tend to target those with a low self esteem. Because, if you don’t believe that you deserve better, why would anyone else? If you don’t stand your ground with your partner, they will keep picking and picking at you until eventually there’s nothing left.

But this is also true in other relationships, such as the ones you have with your friends. Have you ever had a friend who just seemed to tear you down for the heck of it? Or they would subtly bring out your insecurities, or brag about their achievements, just to get the upperhand on you? I have. And eventually, everything that friend said to me hurt me in some manner. No matter how much I loved and cared about them, they didn’t care for me in the same way. So I ended the friendship. It was one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to do, but sometimes what’s right and what’s necessary isn’t always what’s easy. 

Breaking off friendships is hard. Breaking off romantic relationships may be even harder. But you have to realize that people who really love you won’t go out of their way to hurt you or tear you down, they will go out of their way to build to you up. They will want to see you happy more than they want that happiness for themselves. True love is selfless, whether it is romantic or not. And once you realize the true gem you are and all the love you have to offer, you won’t accept anything less than the same in return. 

I have seen too many people let relationships ruin their lives. They have let their partners and/or friends abuse them physically and mentally, all because they thought they deserved it or couldn’t do any better. I am here today to tell you that you can do better. You do deserve better. You are beautiful, you are smart, you are perfect in every way because God made you with his own hands. He wants better for you, I want better for you. 

Don’t you want better, too? 

The Importance of Self Esteem in Relationships

8 Ways to Fix a Crappy Day

Are you having a rough day? Does it seem like you just can’t catch a break? Did you maybe just wake up in a bad mood? That’s okay! Don’t fret, my dear. It happens to the best of us. But I have 8 ways you can fix that right now!

1. Smile.

A lot of times, simply picking your head up and forcing a smile can help change your mood. I mean, it’s kind of hard to be happy with a sour look on your face. Think about something that makes you happy and just smile! It will make other people smile as well when they see you, which will automatically brighten your day!

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(You know I had to use a picture of Mariska Hargitay, because… well… look at her.)

2. Talk to someone you love.

I know when I’m feeling down, I like to call my mom. She always knows what to say when I am upset, even though I don’t tell her that enough. Talking to someone who makes you happy will improve your day by a long shot.

BONUS TIP: Tell them how much they mean to you! Odds are, they will tell you how much you mean to them in return. There’s nothing better than knowing the positive impact you have on someone you care about!

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3. Listen to your favorite song (or one that gets you pumped up).

When I’ve had a rough day at school, I love to turn up my favorite song on the way home and just jam out! I really like listening to R&B or Alternative Christian music when I am in a sour mood, it always lifts my spirits. Think of a song that makes you smile or dance and crank it up!

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4. Splurge on your favorite foods.

Okay, so I know we’re all dieting and trying to watch what we eat, but hey, you deserve it after the day you’ve had! A little ice cream never hurt anybody! Maybe a brownie or two? Just have a small amount of your guilty pleasure- but don’t overdo it! You may regret that later.

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5. Watch a feel-good movie or your favorite TV show.

Had a long day? I know just the solution! If you get the time, pop in a favorite childhood movie or binge watch your favorite TV show. For me, this would be splurging in a Law and Order: SVU marathon. Eat some popcorn, kick back, relax! Trust me, you’ll feel much better afterwards.

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6. Take a bath or a long shower.

Let me tell you, nothing is quite as relaxing as a nice bubble bath! I love to lay back and relax with some music playing in the bathtub. The warm water helps with tensed muscles and just feels good on your skin! Don’t like baths? No problem. A shower can do the same trick!

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7. Do a good deed.

Like I said earlier, nothing feels better than knowing you made a positive impact in someone else’s life! Do something nice for someone else. Whether it’s holding the door open for a stranger, helping an elderly person with their groceries, or simply flashing someone a smile, do something that benefits someone else! In the end, seeing that you’ve made them happy will benefit you, too!

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8. Quit focusing on the bad, and start focusing on the good!

I know, I know. Easier said than done, right? But it’s true, if you’re having a bad day, it’s usually all in your head. When one bad thing happens, you begin taking smaller issues that normally wouldn’t bother you and blowing them completely out of proportion. It’s okay, admit it, we all do it sometimes. But instead of thinking about the bad things that happened today, start thinking about the good things that did! Better yet, quit thinking about the events of the day all together. Pop in a movie, eat some ice cream, take a bath, and take your mind off of things for a while!

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Those are all my tips for now! If you have any more, tell me, and I may make a part two using some of your ideas! I hope these tricks have benefitted you in someway and you turn your crappy day upside down ASAP! Have a good one, my friends.

Love,
Bayley

8 Ways to Fix a Crappy Day

Why Don’t You Love Yourself?

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see your strengths, or do you see your flaws? Being human, of course, you probably see your flaws. You see that your nose is too big, or your cheeks are too fat, or your hair just didn’t lay the way you wanted it to today. But why don’t you see that your eyes are the most captivating things in the universe? Why don’t you see that your smile is enough to brighten someone’s entire day? Why don’t you understand that you don’t have to be what the world wants you to be?

We are all constantly complaining about how crazy this world is becoming, so why are we wasting our time trying to conform to its wants? Why are we glamorizing self hatred? We are all so unique, so beautiful. Every single human on this earth was perfectly crafted. Every single detail about you was intentional. So what the girl next to you is skinnier than you? You weren’t supposed to look like her. So what the guy next to you has bigger arms than you? You weren’t supposed to look like him. That wasn’t meant to be you. YOU are exactly the way that YOU were made to be.

Oh, and, by the way, why are we all so focused on looks? What about what’s in your brain? What about what’s in your heart?

Let’s play a little game of would you rather. And, please, seriously consider what I am asking before you answer: if it came down to it, would you rather be the most beautiful person on earth or the smartest one? Got your answer? Okay, round two: would you rather be the most beautiful person on earth or the kindest one? I hope you chose the latter to both questions. Your looks will get you so far, but one day, you won’t be quite as beautiful as you once were. You will have wrinkles, you will have lines, you will gain weight, you will age. We all do. What will you have then? I can answer that for you right now: you will only be left with the contents that are within you. And really, isn’t that more important than whether or not you have a 26 inch waist?

So why do you let society get you down? Why do you care about their standards? Who even came up with these standards? Whoever they are, I hope they are receiving the punishment they deserve.

There is nothing wrong with you. Do you know that? Do you, really? Trust me, I know exactly how it feels to hate yourself. To look in the mirror and to actually cry because you aren’t what the person you like wants. Because you aren’t what society wants. Just the other night, I cried the entire drive home from a basketball game because all of my friends have boyfriends and I am still single. It hurts to not be wanted by someone else. But do you want to know what hurts more? Not being wanted by yourself. To want to be someone else for ridiculous, materialistic reasons. You have to love you. I can’t stress the importance of that enough. I’ve seen people be abused by themselves and others because they didn’t have enough self esteem to know that they were worth more than that. You deserve to have everything you want and dream of, no matter who you are. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED. So what you’re single? You don’t need someone else to love you. YOU CAN LOVE YOURSELF. It’s a long journey to discovering your self worth, but if you don’t take it, you will get yourself into some situations you do not want to be in, and that is a fact.

When you look in the mirror next time, think about how your mother would feel if she knew the cruel things you thought about yourself. She worked so hard to make you, to raise you, and here you are talking about yourself as if you are nothing. It’s like watching everything you’ve worked for be torn down right in front of you. Okay, so you don’t have your mother in your life? What about your dad? A sibling? An aunt? A grandmother? A cousin? A friend? God? What about yourself? Doesn’t it hurt more knowing you are your own enemy rather than simply having an enemy on the outside?

Why do you let the world win? Why don’t you see yourself the way that I see you? Why don’t you love yourself?
I hope that one day you do. I hope that one day you see the beauty that is inside and outside of you. I hope that one day you are happy. I hope that one day is today.

Why Don’t You Love Yourself?

Direction

I believe we are all guilty of at one point not knowing where we’re going next. Whether it’s something simple, like not knowing whether to eat Chinese takeout or Pizza; or something complicated, like not knowing what you will do with the rest of your life. One of the most difficult decisions we make everyday is the answer to the question: what’s next? Two simple words, but so much can come from them.

I’ve been asking myself this question a lot recently. I will soon start my senior year of high school and I have been trying to decide where I will set my sights for college. I know that I want to live in New York. I know what I need to study in order to one day own my own major publishing company. But my issue is, these are things that will happen post college. So what do I do until then? Where will I learn everything I need to know to accomplish my dreams? Where will I live for a possible 4-8 years of my life? Will I stay in Kentucky? Will I move to another state? How will I pay for my education? Should I stay near my family or learn to be independent? Is it too early to go to New York? Could I even get in the colleges I want to attend in New York? Could I even afford it?

These questions are overwhelming and I will need ALL the answers within the next ten months. Ten. Months. Within the next ten months of my life, I will be deciding on the next four years of my life. How horrifying is that? What if I make the wrong decision? What if it all goes wrong?

I assume every teenager my age has been asking themselves the same questions lately. Well, the ones who actually want to have direction. There’s that word again. Direction. A small word with so much importance. Some people have it, some people don’t. Some people want it, some people don’t. But in the end, we all need it. We all struggle with it. So.. which one will we take?

Direction